Hitting the same old night clubs, bars, coffee shops, and pet stores can get old–you meet the same type of girls, and frankly you get sick of the venue. Plus you’re getting dangerously close into the same pool of women your bros are already tapping. If you really want to meet some different girls, it’s time to think outside the box. I’ve begun approaching in some atypical places and found great success, and they’re with girls I normally would have never met. Some of these ideas are “thinking outside the box” and may strike you as odd, but stick with me. The photos are proof of the quality of women you can find in these venues.
1. The Mall
Anna Karczmarzyk will do anything for some new jeans
It’s no surprise to the ROK readership that western women are getting trashier by the week. One of the new trends is young girls using their bodies to get shoes, jeans, jewelry, or a new telephone. They redefine the language they use, calling their clients “boyfriends” or “benefactors” in a way to avoid stating that they are actual prostitutes, often turning tricks in the mall restrooms for a quick purchase afterwards. I’m not a fan of spending money on women, but if you’re already going to throw away money on them at a bar, coffee shop, or club, you might as well try this strategy too. You can pick up whatever you need at the mall while you’re there.
2. The PTO Meeting
Utah public schoolteacher Brianne Altice
When I was in public school, all my teachers were old, wrinkled women born prior to WW2. I have definitely noticed the recent trend of hot-bodied twenty-something schoolteachers that seem to have appeared out of nowhere. And many of them are so desperate they turn to having sex with their students. This is clearly a case of low self esteem women with few options, taking advantage of whatever dick is closest to them. Be that dick.
Austin, Texas math teacher Haeli Wey (Hael Yeah!)
3. The Pharmacy
Alysa Bathrick, Xanax fan
If you’re over 25, you may not realize it, but pharmaceutical drugs are the new thing. Governments have made it too cumbersome to purchase alcohol and tobacco, and now prescription drugs are the drug of choice for the new generation. When you consider their legal status, and the strong chances that mom has some psychoactive drugs in her medicine cabinet, combined with their ubiquity and lower cost, not to mention that awesome high created by teams of smart men in lab coats, it’s no wonder these drugs are the drug of choice.
Here’s where you come in. Visit your local psychiatrist, get a prescription for a mind altering substance (medical marijuana in some states, or a choice of serotonin reuptake inhibitors in others), and hang out at the local pharmacy. Chances are pretty good you’ll meet a hotty like Alysa Bathrick, who will do just about *anything* for some pills.
4. The Dog Park
Chubby, but passable
I’ve covered in the past good reasons for owning a dog. Now add one more. Miranda Johns (above), 21, was arrested in Florida in March 2016 for three counts of sex with her dogs, which she filmed. As longtime readers of ROK know, sex with dogs, sadly, is a formerly taboo activity that more and more women in the West are trying.
But not all women have large dogs. A fair number of them, especially the urban apartment dweller that you’ll be targeting, are subject to size restrictions and typically have small to medium size animals. That’s where you come in. You have a dog. Or at least a friend with a big dog. Grab it, head to the dog park, and wait around. If a girl asks you if the big dog is yours, that’s a clear signal she’s into bestiality, and you just need to make small talk about the best venues to take your pup for a couple of minutes before going in for the number close.
5. The Trailer Park
Got Crystal Meth? This Lexington, KY girl is interested
Speaking of drugs, ever notice how most crystal meth arrestees tend to be women? Perhaps the Walter Whites of the world are simply too smart to get caught, but it sure seems that the fairer sex gets a whole lot more arrests for crystal meth. Now, crystal meth users are notoriously dumb, and they tend to lose their teeth pretty quickly, so you want to go after the new users only. You know, the girl you saw at the drugstore last month but is now looking for something a little more “exciting”? That’s your target.
6. The Thrift Store
This one is a double whammy. First, you have a good chance of finding the slutty wannabe-hipster girl from the rich part of town who goes to the thrift store to buy her trendy alternative clothing. But they’re not your real goal. No, the idea here is to find a basic, simple, large white cloth. It can be a robe, it can be uncut fabric, hell, even a red and white tablecloth can work. Your goal is to take this cloth and wear it as a basic robe. Get on craigslist and announce that you are arriving in two days to pre-scout for your benefactor, a rich Arab Sheik. Yes, you will be pre-trolling the tag-a-sponsor girls.
As long as you have a few fake photos of yourself and a rich arab sheik, and focus talking about how much money she’s going to make in two days, she’ll let you do literally anything you want. You’re welcome.
7. Nursing Homes
OK, hear me out. Yes, we go after younger women. My target is 20-22-year-old thin females. But the younger generation of women can kill your boner with their rough speech, Skrillex haircuts, tats and piercings, whereas American women from past generations were far closer to our ideal mate.
So whether you’re an older ROK reader, or just in the mood for something different, don’t knock this until you try it. The truth is very few men outlive their wives and move in to nursing homes. So you’re left with a ton of horny, single ladies without transportation. The field is wide open. Just remember to wear a condom, as STIs are out of control! An added bonus? You can quickly scan the family photos for a hot granddaughter. Plus, it’s a great place to practice your elderly openers.
Suck It Up
There we go. I know, probably not the article you were expecting. But men need to realize this is 2016, and if you aren’t in the places above, you’re probably experiencing a dry spell. Unless you plan on going sexless until your next trip abroad, I strongly suggest you visit the above spots soon!
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