But we already knew that. This is core to her online identity as a sex positive feminist. She feels so strongly about this that she incorporated it into her moniker. But in case we might not have gotten the message, she reminded us in a recent comment:
Sluts* like me opt out of that frame. I decided as a teenager that I was not going to pander to some hypothetical future groom by limiting my sex life, nor was I going to pander to any current boys or men in my life by engaging in sexual activity in exchange for affection. To me, the dignified path was always about having sex if and when it felt desirable and right to me (within certain ethical contraints, those being best summed up as “do no harm” — practice safe sex, ensure the consent of your partner, and be kind). In other words, I had sex because I wanted to have sex, and no other reason. If someone had expressed a concern about my value in the marriage market, I would have said, “Screw that.” Besides, I think that if a woman takes care of herself physically, projects confidence, and behaves like a decent and kind person, she will do just fine on the “market” anyway, so why should she wrap herself up in knots about whether she’s a “slut” or not?
Anyone surprised? Me either. What I did find surprising was the paragraph which immediately followed in the same comment (emphasis mine):
*I self-identify as a “slut” because I have always opposed the double-standard and the transactional view of sex, and have acted accordingly. On the one hand, I may not qualify under the standards set forth here. I never had sex with, or even kissed, anyone other than a premarital boyfriend of several years and my husband. With both men, I had sex with them immediately on a first date within a few weeks of first meeting them with absolutely no expectation of or desire for a further relationship. The fact that I wound up in long term relationships with both men does not change the nature of my initial encounters with them.
I teased her a bit about lacking sufficient initiative as a slut, but I do find this very interesting. I’m sure she has her own reasons (which she is of course welcome to share or not), but my own guess is that it fits with my assessment that the sexual revolution was (and is) more of a long term unraveling of the constraints on women’s promiscuity rather than an event which occurred in the late 60s and early 70s. I think this is one reason parents today struggle to understand how the promiscuity of their sons and daughters could be so different than the promiscuity they experienced and/or witnessed in their youth. We have a generation of parents who think they know slutty or even think they invented slutty, but they really have no idea.
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