The missing fear

Women tend to fear a lot of different things.  This makes sense given their vulnerability.  Most men are wired to want to protect women and this includes protection from living in fear.  In the right context this is a very beneficial trait.

One way to look at the history of feminism is consider it as men and women working to remove women’s fears. I had been considering this issue when by an incredible stroke of luck one of my readers found the transcript of the actual conversations which lead to our current state.  I won’t reveal my source, but it pays to have readers who have access to the official white knight archives:

Woman:  I’d like to have sex with men I’m not married to, but I’m afraid I’ll be judged.  I’m also afraid the man won’t provide for me and my child should I become pregnant.

White knight brigade:  That is unacceptable!  Don’t worry, we’ll make him pay, and in accordance with our rule of it takes two, we’ll reserve any judgment soley for him.

Woman:  Oh, thank you!  But what if I’m more traditional, and prefer the classic route to baby-mama hood?  It would be trashy to raise a child on my own having never married.  What if I want to pretend to marry him for life, but then later realize that I’m not haaapy and divorce?  My fellow churchgoers might judge me, and I won’t have the benefit of his wealth or paycheck any more.

White knight brigade:  Don’t worry ma’am, we will still make him pay.  We’ll also find a way to claim it was his fault so you don’t get judged.  In fact, whichever route to unwed motherhood you choose, we’ll call you a hero!

Woman: What if I know he doesn’t want to be a father, and I trick him into it anyway?

White knight brigade: Don’t worry, we won’t let your bad choices have any consequences.  We’ll make him pay even then.  In fact, we’ll make him pay even if you become pregnant from statutory raping him.

Woman:  Oh, thank you white knight brigade!  I’m so excited! Now I can safely have sex with men who aren’t suitable fathers, and then I can marry a man I don’t really love risk free!

White knight brigade: Our pleasure ma’am, that’s what we are here for!

Elsewhere in the transcripts was this exchange when the woman returned with more fears about choosing the wrong husband:

Woman: Choosing a husband involves risk, and this makes me afraid.  What if the alpha bad boy I’m attracted to turns out to be an alpha bad boy?

White knight brigade:  Sorry delicate flower, I’m afraid we don’t understand.

Woman:  Well, I’m attracted to men with the dark triad traits.  But what if living with or marrying a narcissistic psychopath doesn’t turn out to be a good idea?  What if he hits me?

White knight brigade: Don’t worry, just leave him and we’ll make sure he is punished!

Woman: But what if I don’t want to leave him.  Can’t you just tame him for me?

White knight brigade: (following a short conference) We have decided it isn’t your fault;  some other man (most likely your father) must be to blame for you wanting to stay with an abuser.  Therefore we have decided tame him for you.

It turns out there was still more to fear though.  She returned later with an unforeseeable concern:

Woman:  Everything was going according to plan, but after I kicked the father of my children out of the house he isn’t working as hard as he used to.  He says since he is no longer the head of the family he should no longer have the responsibility to work like one.

White knight brigade: This is an outrage!  We’ll figure out how much money we think he should make and impute the income.  If he doesn’t pay up, we’ll throw him in prison!

Another woman: I have a similar problem, but my ex isn’t working because he lost his job and the economy is bad.  Can you still help?  I really need the money for a planned trip to Europe and India where I can pray, eat, and love.

White knight brigade: Of course, we’ll still make up a figure and put him in jail if he isn’t able to pay it.

Both women:  But if you throw him in jail, who is going to pay me?

White knight brigade: We’ll pay you out of welfare and bill the man for it.

Third woman:  But what if, and this is just a hypothetical, the man I’m making pay child support isn’t really the father.  I’m afraid he might find out and I’ll be out of luck.

White knight brigade:  As long as you were married at the time and he was dumb enough to trust you, we’ll enforce your paternity fraud as if it was the real deal.

But even this wasn’t enough.  Our heroes in the white knight brigade have worked tirelessly to remove the risk from women making bad choices.  Consider the following:

Woman: I’d really like to go to secluded places with strange men.  How else am I supposed to be a proper slut?  But what if I change my mind just before, during, or after sex?  It will be his word against mine.  And what if he uses his strength to overpower me?

White knight brigade:  We’ll change the definition of rape so you don’t have to actually resist or tell him to stop.  The burden of proof will be on him.  We’ll also pass special laws which protect only you.

Woman:  Speaking of rape, I’d like to wear revealing clothing in bad parts of town and/or at night.  But if I make bad choices and am raped I want everyone to insist that I didn’t use bad judgment.

White knight brigade: We’ve created a new slogan just for this.  We will call anyone who suggests that you use good judgment “blaming the victim”.

Woman:  What if I’m living with a man and want to provoke a fight with him?  I love drama, but sometimes I go too far.  Is there any way you can make baiting men into violence safe?

White knight brigade: Yes.  You have an unqualified right to slap, shove, yell at, and physically block your man.  If he ever does anything in response, we will put him in jail without considering your own actions.

Woman:  What if he doesn’t actually hit me, but is rude or insulting?

White knight brigade: Lets call that a misdemeanor.

I can hear the outrage from some of my female readers already:

Dalrock just said he hopes I am [raped, abused, abandoned]!

No, what I am saying is:

  1. It can happen.
  2. It is a bad thing

Therefore you should fear it and take appropriate precautions. Just like pain, fear serves an essential function;  it discourages us from making bad choices.

We can’t really make the world safe for women to make bad choices.  All we are doing right now is shifting as much of the burden as possible away from the women making bad choices onto men, society at large, and the woman’s children.  In the end even this won’t really protect women from making bad choices, it will only make them appear safe.  Often times assuaging women’s fear involves outright denial of the risks which accompany bad choices.  Most often all this does is delay the experience of the bad outcome until it is too late for the woman to make better choices.

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