Being prepared to walk away is the only way to deal with situations where you are likely to be bested by an AMOG (alpha male other guy). Showing weakness, fear, annoyance, butthurtness, or any combination of the above and you will lose. If you play it well you can still get the girl, and even if you don’t, far better to walk away with your dignity intact than not.
I have recently faced two situations where an ‘alpha’ (I used inverted commas since the designation of ‘alpha’ is situational and varies from girl to girl) threatened my game. In the first I lost the girl. In the second I won her back. Both reinforced my view that a willingness to walk is essential.
Stella
I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes version of each incident. The first occurred when I met a girl called Stella from Bumble for a drink. My first impression when she arrived was that she wasn’t as hot as her pictures suggested, but that she was attractive enough for a fleeting encounter.
After some vodka, it became painfully aware that she was not particularly intellectually gifted either, as she related one uninteresting anecdote after another in her thick Essex accent. Still, I played along, hoping for an easy win. We made out a few times and she invited to meet her again at the weekend.
During the third drink, however, I became aware that Stella kept looking over my shoulder. I glanced behind me and saw a drunken AMOG, a ruggedly good-looking man in a white shirt. He glared at me. “Let’s get out of here,” I said to Stella. We downed our drinks. I walked out with her without giving the guy a second glance. I was aware, however, from my peripheral vision, that Stella was still smiling at him.
When we reached the atrium, Stella stopped. “I’m going to say goodbye here,” she said. “I need to go to the bathroom, then I’m going to walk to the train station.”
“No problem,” I said. I kissed her goodbye, and went into the men’s room.
I already knew what was happening. Still, a perverse part of me was curious to see the drama play out to the end. I waited for several minutes, and then walked briskly back through the bar. Sure enough, there was Stella sitting with the AMOG.
I didn’t intend for her to see me, but she did. She stared at me, her dumb eyes filling gradually with comprehension and guilt. I winked at her and walked on. Later on, when she messaged me, I didn’t bother to reply.
Lilianna
Lillianna is a regular fuck buddy of mine, a Hungarian girl who I met earlier this year. Last weekend I traveled to Zagreb, Croatia, to attend a party with her. The one snag? Her Spanish ex-boyfriend Rafa was there too.
Lillianna and Rafa had a stormy relationship that lasted for over five years and finally came to an end in early 2017. However, as he is an entrepreneur and she is a fellow director of his company, they have never been out of contact.
Lillianna had promised me ahead of time that we would not see much of Rafa at the event. In fact, he ended up hanging out with us for most of it. This I didn’t particularly object to. He turned out to be a decent enough guy, dominant, with that slightly arrogant air that makes Spaniards and Italians so good at game. Plus I am not Liliana’s boyfriend and so don’t really have the right to dictate who she hangs out with.
What did annoy me, though, was the way Lilianna, still clearly in love with Rafa, seemed to defer to everything he said. It was clear to see that for her he remained her ‘eternal alpha.’
Things came to a head at about 5am. I was exhausted. Lilianna was also tired and her feet were hurting from wearing her high-heeled shoes. “Let’s go,” I said.
“OK. I’ll just say goodbye to Rafa.”
She went over and spoke to him. By this time he had picked up some drugged-up girl who was hanging off his arm. She returned and sat down again.
“He wants us all to go back for a group session together.”
“Are you kidding? I came here to see you. I’m not going back to some hotel room to watch you getting fucked by your ex-boyfriend!”
“Troy…”
“And what would I get out of it anyway? That girl he’s with is ugly. There’s no upside for me.”
“But . . . you have to understand, I loved him for five years,“ Lilianna sobbed. “I can’t refuse him anything.”
I looked at her.
“Well in that case you should stay,” I said. I grabbed her, pulled her towards me, kissed her roughly on the lips and got the hell out of there. I would not tolerate being second best under any circumstances. This would be the last time she would ever set eyes on me, I thought.
In my Uber I was researching alternative hotels on Booking.com when she popped up on Facebook Messenger.
Took a taxi now. Hopefully there in a bit.
I softened a little. I hadn’t expected her to follow me and I hadn’t staged the walkout as a ploy. However, she had made a decision in my favour. I decided to go to bed in our hotel room and see what happened. It was late, and I could always leave the next day.
When she returned she slipped into bed tearfully, and clung to me while she sobbed herself to sleep. The next morning she gave me one of the best blowjobs I have ever received, before washing me from head to toe in the shower. Suddenly she was compliant, submissive and sweet once more.
Be Prepared To Walk Whatever The Outcome
My willingness to walk away had won Lilianna back—for the moment. But here’s the thing: the more you do game the more you will come up against obstacles, including AMOGs. No matter how rich, fashionable or good-looking you are, there will always be some other guy out there who will beat you. Or, as with Lilianna, there will be some ex-boyfriend who she is still hung up on.
There is little point in trying to outdo these men. Attempt to be louder or funnier and you risk looking butthurt and try-hard. Because what alpha truly confident in himself would feel the need to overcompensate in that way?
For me, the only real solution is to be philosophical and prepared to walk. Again, the true alpha would have enough options that he could happily afford to do so. Even if you lack those options you must make as though you have them.
I cannot guarantee that walking away will bring your girl running back to you, as it brought Lilianna back to me. But you must do it anyway. In my case, I had no intention of ever speaking to Lilianna again. It was only because she shifted her position that I continued to entertain her, and she is certainly downgraded in my priorities.
You should never for one moment acknowledge that another man has got the best of you, or is in any way superior. And a willingness to walk away remains your best insurance policy. Remember, it is better to risk losing the prize than to losing your dignity: girls come and go, but your self-perception is forever.
Want to find out how jerks and badboys get the hottest girls? Check out Troy’s latest book How To Be An Asshole
Read More: How Most Relationships End
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