For An Explosively Good First Date, Don’t Talk So Much

The following is a sponsored article from Girls Chase.

Hey there. Chase Amante here. Roosh has been kind enough to allow me to share a few posts to give some tips, promote our new flagship course over at GC, and throw a few bones ROK’s way.

There’s a huge diversity of emotion toward women among Return of Kings readers. The loudest emotion seems to be “they’re annoying but you’ve got to put up with them.” And yeah, I mean… fair enough. Chicks can be pretty bratty and do some ridiculous things.

This article assumes that you would like to sleep with a few new girls and/or you’d like to make some cute (or smoking hot?) girl your girlfriend. Or find a girl to make your girlfriend. Any of those is good.

One of the big problems guys have with girls

What’s the biggest complaint guys have about dating? There are a few big ones, but one of the biggest, most consistent complaints is “Women expect you to do all the work.”

Sure, yeah. It seems like it’s correct. Except, well, you know… it’s not. Not totally/completely. Most women don’t expect anyone to do the work. They expect things to “just happen.”

The woman’s not supposed to do anything. She doesn’t want YOU to do anything either. In fact, if after you bed her, you then tell her all the conscious things you did to get her, you can watch the terrible realization enter her eyes. It’s she found out the Easter Bunny died.

When she’s passed out thinking this very good first date was “fate”… while you destress from another bout of hard work and near-misses.

So where’s this “women expect you to do all the work” idea come from? Not women themselves. In fact, it appears to stem from the talker-non-talker disconnect in the dating advice world.

I’ll paint this picture for you. In the late 200-naughts, I was a reasonably well known figure on the biggest seduction discussion board. Over time I got to meet a bunch of top guys from the seduction community. Lots of great guys; most are genuinely very cool people in person. A few bad apples, as in any group, but for the most part extremely cool individuals.

However, I noticed something: most of these guys were talkers. They would talk talk talk talk talk. They loved to talk. They could talk all day and talk all night. Talk talk talk.

I began to coach dating students in 2008 and 2009. We’d meet up, I’d find out where they were at, we’d go to bars, I’d find girls for them to approach, and we’d sort out their weaknesses. I’d give them stuff to work on based on how I observed women react to them and where I saw them hit snags. They’d make gains (also often be amazed which girls would be into them). Sometimes we’d find a girl they could take home. And what I found over and over was almost none of the guys who showed up were talkers.

Instead, they were either “normal” guys… or they were quiet.

The guys who were beginners mostly needed pushes to approach a girl. So we’d work on that. But guys who were intermediate had a different problem. These guys almost all said the same thing: “I can meet women and women like me. But I always run out of things to say!”

And the thing I’d wonder to myself is “Why do these guys who aren’t talkers try to be talkers?”

You don’t have to be Mr. Chatty

If you are a talkative guy, this article’s not for you. You shouldn’t try to rein your talk in if your gift is gab. If you are good at talking your way into women’s pants, don’t let me steer you off that. In my experience about 10% of guys are what I’d call “true talkatives.” If you’re this kind of guy, talk away. You’ll have a blast; she’ll be entranced.

If you’re not a talkative guy, you need to modify the advice you get from talkative teachers. Most of their advice is still quite usable. Yet they approach girls from a “talkative” standpoint; you won’t.

One of the questions I used to ask intermediate students in-field was, “What is it you are talking about with these girls, exactly?” And they would give me a list of very interesting things they discussed that no woman actually cares about.

So then I would say, “Those are really excellent things. That one thing in particular you mentioned we should talk about later; I’m interested in that. But now – do you think any girls actually care about these things?” And they would think about it, laugh, and say no, I guess not.

A lot of talk from you does not necessarily = a lot of attraction from her.

Then I would say “Hey, what do you think women actually care about?” They wouldn’t know. So then I’d say “What is everybody’s favorite topic?” Most of them would get it here and say “themselves.” At which point I’d say yeah, and women are the champs of this.

And then I’d say you know what would be cool is if you didn’t have to talk a lot or do a lot of work. What if you could just ask a girl a few questions, get her going off into an excited chat about all kinds of things, and you just kick back and chill while she does the work?

And you’d see a little light bulb go off in the guy’s head and he’d go try it. Invariably he’d come back blown away, because the next girl he talked to got excited and he hardly did any work. We’d mix sexuality into the conversation next, because you need that to not just be some cool but platonic guy she had a fun conversation with. That’s not too challenging once you’ve got her, though; once she’s sucked into the conversation, the hardest part for most guys is done.

Okay. They’ve got me on a 1,500-word cap for this article and I’ve still got to give you my pitch (it is a sponsored post, after all), so let me give you a few quick pointers you can try out now.

Probe her on her answers

It’s fine to ask a few boring questions (”Where are you from?” “What do you do?”). What you do NOT want to do is cycle too fast through questions. Instead, ask one (”Where are you from?”) then ask more about her answer (”Great town. Why’d you move here?”). Then more (”How’s this town compare to that town?”). Then more (”So are you here for life?”).

Use statements and dead space

It is not your job to fill all empty space (well… until you get her in bed. Then it’s your job to fill all empty spaces). The first two minutes of conversation you usually want to keep flowing. But use statements and pauses / dead space too. Too many questions turns it into an interview. So use statements – rather than “Are you a student?” tell her “You look like you’re from [university].” And use pauses… especially after she says something and you remark on it. e.g., Her: “blah blah blah” You: “That’s extremely cool. You’ve got some real talent!” [dead space]. The social pressure is on her to move things forward, especially when you’ve approved of and complimented her.

Use her conversation to move things forward

Once she’s told you some cool things, and it feels like she’s worked hard to tell you good things about herself, move her somewhere else or sit with her. e.g., “I can’t believe you pulled that off, actually. Hey, let’s grab seats before they’re all taken. So tell me…” Framed this way, the move is a reward – and she feels good about following your lead (and investing so much).

Do these few things, and you will never run out of things to talk about. The girls you talk to will do most of the work (well… talk-wise. You’ve still got to invite and make moves!).

A new model for good first dates

This is only one part of my approach to conversation, but it ought to be enough to get you doing more cool things right away. I’ve got loads more for you, however… in a course I call “One Date.”

The One Date is a simplified approach to dating (and seduction)… built to take a girl from “strangers” to “girlfriend” in one simple, easy-to-run, easy-to-get first date.

It works just as well if you want multiple dates with a girl too, of course. But I’m a guy who likes to get girls to do as much of the work as possible in a courtship, as fast as possible. So my method is based on getting girls into bed and as girlfriends as quickly, reliably, and with as little fuss as possible.

Inside One Date you’ll discover:

• 3 types of zero-to-girlfriend first dates… plus how to identify which date a girl needs
• How to easily get a date with a girl (in a virtually rejection-proof way)
• The biggest getting-together mistake men make (once you know this it’s easy to avoid)
• The results of over 127 peer-reviewed scientific studies on dating, mating, and attraction
• Exactly how to talk to and flirt with her (with lots of demonstrations by veteran date coaches)

… and a whole lot more.

One Date will only be available February 22 to 26. We’ll roll it out to a select early access group, then close it down for a while (to build the first alumni group). At the nearest, it’ll next be available this summer.

So if you want it, or think you might want it, sign up for the launch list! I’ll send you lots of great free tips as we move toward the launch (like what you’ve got in this article).

Here’s the first look trailer. We give you a peak inside, show what the course is about, and… it’s pretty fun:

Go to the signup page and sign up now, and I’ll see you on the list.

Ciao for now,

Chase Amante

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