Seriouslypleasedropit comments on Most men are not afraid of commitment:
Bob and Jane have some sort of prelude romance and move in together. Either because Bob is just that cool, Jane that desperate, or whatever, Bob hasn’t actually had to put forth that much effort into the relationship.
Time passes. Jane gets nervous and starts pushing for “committment.”
He is making a larger point, but he has inadvertently framed Jane’s promiscuity in the way Jane would do.
In reality, Jane has had no commitment sex with a string of men, demanding varying degrees of displays of investment by the men along the way. With Bob, Jane decides that she wants him to signal greater investment in their sexual relationship by moving in together. Bob agrees because he is either happy to do so because he expects more sex due to proximity, because he is hoping Jane will be the woman who finally commits to him, or because he feels pressured by threatened loss of sex.
The important part is that Jane has secured the status of public investment while keeping her options entirely open. If Jane decides that she can do better, she will toss him aside as she has done with so many other men, and find a new man to have sex with. Eventually Jane finds that one of these men is the one she wants to marry, so she pressures him to propose. He could be man #3 in her quest, or man #53. If she chooses man #53 and he doesn’t propose, Jane loudly complains that all men are afraid of commitment. And Jane should know, given her wide experience with men.
Jane then says to any conservative who will listen (which is pretty much every conservative):
Look at cruel Bob. He moved in together with me for free sex, but now I’m afraid he isn’t going to commit. He was just using me!
And the conservative is outraged. Here Jane is following the sacred path to marriage, tirelessly sampling penises (poor Jane sampled 53 just to be thorough) until she finds the one whose owner owes her a marriage vow, and now that she found the one she wants to propose he is ruining the whole thing!
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