Thank You, American Sororities

Rebecca Martinson is an American patriot.

In case you didn’t pay the internet bill last month, she is the young woman who became famous for an email excoriating her fellow University of Maryland sorority sisters for behavior unbecoming of their organization. The email went viral and caused great outrage. This is part of the letter:

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING.

[…]

I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Zeta over”, would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be post gaming at other frats, I don’t give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

I, for one, applaud Rebecca for her forthright commitment to the true ideals a sorority, which contradict nearly everything else girls are taught at U.S. colleges. Frumpy Women’s Studies professors spend four years telling girls that emphasis on their appearance is a meaningless social construct, they are blameless victims of an unfair patriarchal system, and that they should forego having a family in favor of shuffling paper in a cubicle until after their biological expiration date. Even mothers encourage their daughters to attend slut walks, work on their marketing degrees, embrace their roles as “empowered women,” and love themselves for the mediocrities they are rather than what they could become. Contrast these with the priorities emphasized by American sororities:

• Keeping up one’s appearance
• Being feminine
• Pleasing men
• Committing to a group ideal above the needs of the individual
• Snaring the best male possible for commitment

What other institution remains that teaches girls to prioritize looking presentable and being interesting to men? Even trad-con church girls are fully bought into the divorce rape culture, which holds men by the short hairs in their subservience to higher ideals of “the marriage.” The ultimate goal of a sorority girl is to get into a relationship with a contextual Alpha who will go on to accomplish great things while he takes care of her.

Sororities also fulfill an important and rapidly disappearing societal role as de-facto harems for high-value men. Have you ever heard a sorority girl complain about “the patriarchy”? No. They know that if they remain desirable and don’t raise too much of a fuss, the hard-wired realities of gender roles favor them. Feminism is a joke when one is able to live a life of comfort and status by learning to please high-value men.

The dark side of sorority life is the elevation of hypergamy and materialism, two of the more undesirable aspects of westernized women. Assuming that our dating culture is beyond rehabilitation, though, let’s call the modern dating game for what it is — an exchange of sex for provisioning and power. We’re all striving to be better, more attractive, more powerful, etc. so we can capture the top end of the dating market. If the divide between the haves and the have nots in the sexual marketplace is only growing, we might as well reward the “haves” with girls who know how to please them. What’s worse — a 27 year old who has played the field a bit and realizes it’s time to use her feminine charms to settle down with a high-value man, or a 33 year old “career woman” who has ridden the same carousel for half a decade longer and thinks she “deserves” prince charming because of her masters degree?

It says a lot about our society that Greek life is the last bastion of any gender role traditionalism on modern college campuses. Next time you see a cutie wearing booty shorts with Greek letters on them, make sure to say a silent thank you to Zeus and Aphrodite. If you are a high-value man, you can rest assured that she has been trained for four years in how to please you more effectively than the average woman.

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