The wages of wooing.

In my last post I offered an example of alpha widowhood.  Marrying such a woman represents a real danger for men, and the risk of this is greatly increased by the mind frame of courtly love.

Infogalactic lists the stages of courtly love:

Stages of courtly love
(Adapted from Barbara W. Tuchman)[41]

• Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance
• Worship of the lady from afar
• Declaration of passionate devotion
• Virtuous rejection by the lady
• Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty
• Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire (and other physical manifestations of lovesickness)
• Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady’s heart
• Consummation of the secret love
• Endless adventures and subterfuges avoiding detection

This is the original version of courtly love.  The modified version that we mistake for Christianity alters the script as follows:

1. Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance
2. Worship of the lady from afar
3. Declaration of passionate devotion
4. Virtuous rejection by the lady
5. Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty
6. Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire (and other physical manifestations of lovesickness)
7. Heroic deeds of housework which win the lady’s heart
8. Get married.
9. Repeat steps 1-7 in a continuous loop.

For those who practice courtly love in lieu of Christian marriage, the practical problem is that steps 1-7 won’t win a woman’s heart, and are in fact repulsive.  She might however decide to settle, and marry you anyway.  If she does, rest assured she will always resent you for it, and will always see herself as a victim.

See Also:  Are the vast majority of women truly incapable of experiencing reciprocal love and attraction?