As I’ve noted before chivalry is the mechanism that turns feminism (women’s complaints) into action. This is at times hard to observe because chivalry is most men’s default condition in our culture*. Most men don’t actively think of themselves as chivalrous, but at the same time they would be deeply troubled if accused of being unchivalrous.
But women aren’t expected to be chivalrous, so they often provide a window into how chivalry has warped most men’s thinking. For example, Yahoo has a new article up titled Thousands of girls joining boys as Cub Scouts. The article focuses on a little girl who is joining her brother’s Cub Scout pack. The boy understands that it would be unchivalrous to ask for a space he and his father can focus on manly things:
I was a little skeptical because it was me and my dad’s thing, but when Tatum got in it was even more fun
Since women don’t have to be chivalrous, the mothers of boys are the only ones who can point out that the girls are being petty by invading all male spaces. In the comments to the article single mother ClaireW laments what girls are taking away from her son:
This is heart breaking to me. As a single mom to a young boy I know he desperately needs strong male role models guiding him. He’s just turned 8, this is the time he needs these men most of all, but now it’s not going to happen. Why can’t the girls have these activities in Girl Scouts? Girls & boys are equal, but that doesn’t mean they are the same. And why would we all want to be?
Likewise, single mother Kasey Ferris at Huffington Post objects to the cartoonish chivalry of modern fathers in Please Don’t Threaten My Son For Dating Your Daughter:
It’s not “funny” to threaten my son. It’s not “cute” to treat your daughter as if she has zero common sense.
…
Above all, realize and come to terms with the fact that teenage sexuality is not a “boy thing”. Teenage sexuality is a teenage thing. Young men and young women alike are going to be curious, interested, and looking to learn more about sex. Your daughter is just as curious as my son, I can virtually guarantee it. Yet you don’t see me polishing a shotgun when she comes over to do homework. You don’t see me posting pictures on Facebook with watered-down threats about personal harm should I find out she gets handsy with my son.
The idea of threatening young women to keep their hands off young men is ludicrous, yet when roles are reversed it’s completely accepted and even encouraged. Why?
*This varies by race, and for white men at least has strong class implications. For white men not being called unchivalrous is the mark of a “gentleman”, which connotes both class and virtue.
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