There is huge value in pushing through rejection and other obstacles in night game. In fact, it is probably the only way you will get night game to work for you in 2017. You have to be prepared to roll with the punches and take the blows if you hope to be taking another sort of blow at the end of the night.
I’m not saying that game is just about numbers. There are definitely skills and techniques to be learned that will help you to be more effective each time you do an approach. These include the judicious use of cocky-funny humour, leading, being assertive, passing shit tests and so on.
Nevertheless, the reality of today’s market, particularly in nightclubs, means that you will need to be prepared to go through a lot of chaff before you discover the wheat. In this context, the core traits you need to develop to really ace your game are those of resilience and perseverance. And these should be served up with a huge helping of not-giving-a-fuck.
Ten Approaches
This became clear to me last Saturday when I went to a club in London. I really wasn’t it the mood. I’m not a huge fan of clubs these days anyway, plus I’d had a difficult week. However, I’d already bought a ticket and my friend gave me a pep talk so I went.
Once I got to the venue I still wasn’t it the mood. I was tired and irritable. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to deal with the bullshit and the cockblocks. I wanted to go home and mope.
Then I made a deal with myself. ‘Troy,’ I said. ‘Do ten approaches. That’s it. Just ten approaches. It doesn’t matter how bad they are. Then you can relax and go home if you like.’
So I began. Ten approaches in a packed nightclub is not hard to achieve. Actually it’s pretty damn easy. Everywhere you turn there’s another girl. All you have to do is say hi.
In order for each one to count as an approach, though, I vowed to myself that I would have to at least make an effort to have a meaningful conversation. That meant that if I just said hi and she walked off or something it wouldn’t count.
To make things easier for myself, I decided to ditch any sort of fancy ‘game’ and go in with a simple compliment: ‘Hi, I couldn’t help noticing you’re really pretty. I’m Troy.’
Sod it. It really doesn’t matter too much what you say, as long as you open and say something.
So I wandered around the club delivering my line. The first few times I was faced with stonewall rejections. But as I warmed up, so did the interactions. Even if I didn’t get anywhere at first, the girls became more friendly and receptive. (Funny that you may think that girls in the club are bitchy, but check your own attitude first. What you give out in many cases tends to be what you get back.)
About the fifth set I got talking to a still-sexy MILF in her thirties who was sitting sipping champagne. Again, nothing really came of it, but I was on fire. Outrageously flirtatious lines were coming to mind and out of my mouth with startling regularity. Suddenly, despite my mood, I was in the zone. I was gaining traction, both with my environment and with the girls.
I’d spotted Sarah earlier on in the evening, a pretty, leggy blonde PR girl with large breasts. Without thinking, I stood before her now and told her she was pretty. I was fired up from all my previous approaches, fully in state.
‘Why, thank you,’ she said, all mock-giggles and faux-ladylike affectation.
A moment later and we were making out. Twenty minutes or so after that she had her hands all over my cock in a dark area of the club. An hour later and we were in a taxi heading back to her apartment.
Sarah was something like my fifteenth approach of the evening. I’d got into the mood after the ten I’d originally planned, and so I decided to carry on.
While all the others weren’t disastrous blowouts, it’s fair to say that I didn’t get any earth-shattering responses before Sarah.
So what if I’d have given up at approach 14? I’d have gone home cursing the night as a washout, and probably vowing never to go clubbing again. But because I chose to continue, not to give up, that fifteenth approach worked out well, and we had an enjoyable evening together. And it made all the other other approaches I’d attempted fade into insignificance.
The thing with game, as with so many other aspects of life, is that you really only need a few wins. You don’t have to score every time. You just need to score enough times to have an amazing life. And that is entirely possible for anyone, as long as they have the nerve and the fortitude to keep going even when times are tough.
Want to find out how jerks and badboys get the hottest girls? Read Troy’s latest book How To Be An Asshole
Read More: How Most Relationships End
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