Have You Ever Beat Up A Girlfriend? Cause, Uh, I Have

I was reading an article in Psychiatric News the other day, and my wife asked me why I was laughing so hard.  It was a really funny piece full of stories of women who didn’t fight back when they were beat up by their husbands and boyfriends.  Once I was done laughing I thought to myself:

Good times…  Good times!

Pieces like this just bring back such great memories for me.  Like the time I went nuts on a girlfriend and started violently shoving her.  Another time I overheard a girlfriend on the phone and it sounded like she was flirting with another guy, so I slapped the phone out of her hands and hit her in the face and in the neck.

I know, I should have warned you this would be such a funny post.  But no, I’m not buying you a new keyboard if you just spit your drink all over it!

All of this got me thinking I’ll bet my friends have some great stories too.  The first guy I called had a story so funny I was curled up on the floor holding my stomach I was laughing so hard.  He slapped a girl when she told him she thought she had breast cancer!

Another friend punched a chick in the face and broke her glasses.

Let’s just say that it’d be wise to never ever f*ck with us.

Edit Nov 10: For the satire impaired, this post is a mirror with genders switched of a post celebrating domestic violence committed by the members of the feminist blog Jezebel.

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