The subject of black dating doesn’t come up all that often in the manosphere. Roosh has tackled the subject a couple of times, and in doing so he managed to shed a lot of light on it. Contrary to popular belief, the path to romantic success for black males in the USA is not an easy one. Widespread myths regarding the supposed hidden obsession maintained by non-black women in America for black men are indeed firmly divorced from reality. A black man who wishes to consider romantic options outside of the black community (either because that’s just his preference or he lives/works in parts of the country that are not predominantly black) will face many substantial challenges.
What are these challenges, and how can they be overcome? Again, not much is written in the manosphere on this subject, so here are a few suggestions of my own.
Get In Where You Fit In
As I noted above, black men are not nearly as popular sexually in the USA as some myths claim them to be. There are many who believe that all (or at least most) non-black women in this country have a secret fetish for black men, a discreet preference that they hide only because of widespread shaming and racism. This isn’t completely untrue. There are definitely many women out there who may temper their interest in a given black male for social reasons, and there are many who do prefer black men over others.
The reality, however, is that the typical black male is not that hot of a ticket as far as non-black women are concerned. As Roosh has noted, there are a substantial number of non-black women who will eliminate a black male from contention on sight and have no interest in dating them due to their association of said men with negative stereotypes. There are many more who could be open to dating a black male, but only under ideal circumstances (i.e., he’d better have tight game, style, budget, etc). The fact is that for the most part, the bulk of non-black women in the USA just aren’t that obsessed with black men as a whole.
The good news for black men who are interested in expanding their romantic outlook beyond the black community (or who live in areas that are not predominantly black) is that there is some variation in that preference. The general rule is this: do not waste your time trying to change the minds of women who have made clear their lack of enthusiasm for dating interracially. If a woman makes that disinterest obvious (and they often do, particularly online), move along, regardless of what she looks like.
Your goal should be to interact with women who are, at the very least, somewhat neutral to the concept of interracial dating (read: open to it in general or at least willing to consider it under the right circumstances). My guess is that at least a slight majority of non-black American women fit into this category. Those who don’t must be left alone.
Use Social Circle Game
The concept of pre-selection is well known in the manosphere, but may be more crucial for black American males than others.
As I noted above, there are a substantial number of non-black women in this country who would date a black male under the right circumstances. They do not have “jungle fever” and, in most cases, may not have ever even dated a black male before, but they’ve probably seen one they found attractive in their personal lives or in the media and would consider dating one under the right conditions.
What are these “conditions”? Generally, they relate to the approval of her friend group and her peers. For black males (who in the USA are specifically associated with a number of very negative stereotypes that few non-blacks want anything to do with on a regular basis), this is much more important than it is for others. Association with such stereotypes would jeopardize her own social wellbeing and make her uncomfortable, so she will want to make sure that you do not bring them into her life. Pre-selection allows her to easily identify you as a male who will not do these things.
How does one obtain this pre-selection aside from becoming a relatively well-known athlete or entertainer and benefiting from the associated fame/status? Social circle game. Because they are associated with so many negative social stereotypes and because divorcing themselves from said stereotypes is so crucial to determining the romantic options available to them, black men have more to gain from social circle game than do most other men.
How can a black male properly begin executing social circle game? Get around and meet people in your environment, making a number of friends and acquaintances in the process. Do not discriminate: these people can be of any given ethnicity/race. Your goal is simply to meet and befriend cool people from a variety of ethnic backgrounds aside from (and in addition to) your own. You will want to avoid self-segregation at all costs.
As you meet and befriend more cool people within this environment, you’ll become known as a cool individual yourself, someone who is worth hanging around and will be described as such by your peers whenever they are asked about you.
It is in this way that you will come into contact with a number of women (friends of friends, relatives of friends, etc) with whom you will already be “pre-selected” and will thus have a relatively easier time dating if you so desire. The cooler and more diverse your friend group, the more attractive and diverse these women will be.
On the whole, you will have a substantially easier time consistently meeting and dating attractive, high quality non-black women in this manner than you will running out to the club or bar cold approaching. The majority of normal, cute non-black women (the 90+ percent who don’t have a visible fetish for black men) can generally only be accessed in this way, as they only rarely engage sexually with black men who are not pre-selected and somewhat well known to them. If you want to have a decent chance at getting with them, make sure you’re more than just a “random black guy” they don’t know.
It is true that social circle game can be useful for any man of any ethnic background, and most dudes of all kinds could benefit from the advice above. For black males in the USA, however, social circle game is especially significant. It is the most potent defence they will have against negative stereotypes that could have a deleterious effect on one’s social, professional and romantic life.
Don’t Be A Stereotype
As noted above, pre-selection will often be essential to a black male’s success dating interracially in the USA. In order to make this possible, however, it is crucial for a black male to avoid association with any number of negative stereotypes associated with people like himself.
The reality is this: thugs aren’t actually cool. Any notion contrary to that is a myth. Only a select minority of non-black women are really into thugs. Most truly want nothing to do with that image or lifestyle. It is crucial to the success of any black male looking to bridge racial divides in his romantic life to avoid association with that image at all costs. How do you do this?
Go to school
Black men are the most uneducated demographic in the United States. They’re not expected to be well learned, nor are they assumed to have obtained any sort of degree. Men who defy those odds and expectations put themselves in a good position socially, economically and romantically. College also provides a great vehicle for social circle game, both during one’s time on campus and after graduation via alumni connections.
Hold a solid job and establish a solid career
Black men are the least employed major demographic in the United States, so those who can beat these odds and make good money in a solid career (you don’t need to be a baller) will stand out in a positive way. Black men will be judged more harshly on your employment and income than your European peers, so get ready for that too.
Wear clothes that fit
The more well dressed/GQ you can be, the better – again, this will matter more for you than others given the stereotypes you’re going to be fighting. Urban style is only cool in urban areas. If you want to expand your romantic pool beyond that demographic, dress up. This is particularly important if you lack pre-selection.
The fact is that most folks in our society have a defined image of what “black” is and what black people are like. Many of those images are negative. Your ability to transcend racial boundaries in a social and romantic sense will depend heavily on your ability to contrast yourself with these images. Any young black male concerned with self-improvement should make the development of this ability a top priority. It won’t always win you the day, but you’ll be much better off with it than without.
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